How To Remember and include absent family and friends at your Wedding

Firstly, I am very sorry for your loss and I know whether it was recent or a while ago it makes no difference to how much you miss this family member or close friend. You wanted them to be present for your wedding to witness your happiness and share your joy. It can be devastating when that wish is not granted. It's something many of us take for granted, like so many things and when it's lost to us we don't know what to do.

Many wedding couples have been where you are now and have shared this difficult aspect of their wedding planning journey with us via our Low Budget Wedding Planning Group. You are not alone and there are many sensitive ways you can honor your deceased loved one and include the memory of them in your wedding. It is not the same as having them there with you in person but it will in some small way bring comfort.

Incorporating a deceased parent, grandparent, sibling, friend, or even a pet into your wedding, anniversary, memorial service, or other special event is a beautiful way to remember and honor them. As a result, you can instill a special sense of togetherness in the entire family, which will last throughout the day.

A special reading of the deceased's favorite Bible verse or the inclusion of their favorite poem in your wedding program that calls out their name is a wonderful way to incorporate their memory into your celebration of their life. Other options include the following: A song with special meaning to your loved one can be performed during the ceremony or reception by someone who knows the song well. Make an announcement about the song's significance, or include a note about it in the program. During the song, you could also include a 3-4 minute slide show of your loved one's life to accompany it. Keepsakes are another way to keep them close to your heart. Perhaps they have presented you with a piece of jewelry. On this special day, you should either wear it or keep it close to you.

Wedding Bouquet Photo Charms

I've seen these for sale but it would be so easy to make your own if you're on a low budget and want to make something more personal and unique. They are small photo frames which are attached (like a charm) to the wedding bouquet, perhaps hanging from the wedding ribbon or a prominent flower stem.

Memorial Photo Cards and Keepsakes - Mother/Father

Memorial Photo Cards and Keepsakes - Mother/Father

If you're making one yourself, you could use a photo key chain holder, decorated with glitter, diamontes or spray painted with metallic gold/silver paint to make it more special and match it with the bouquet.

Wedding Photo Locket

A small photo locket in gold, silver or other metal can be another discreet way to have your loved one close to your heart at that special moment. These are usually delicate enough to be a good match for a wedding dress.

Photo Cuff Links For The Groom

The groom could have a specially engraved or photo tie clip/pin, cuff links. The photos are small (avatar sized) and may just be enough to ensure this person who has passed away is close (symbolically) at all times throughout the wedding. As an expense, this could be a wedding gift for the groom (pre-wedding).

Reserved Chairs or decorated table/shelf

Some wedding couples will reserve a seat for their beloved family member at their wedding top table (or other). Set up a special small table at the wedding reception with a flower arrangement and a tent card or framed card that reads "In memory of loved ones who are unable to be with us today" or "In memory of loved ones who are unable to be with us today" or be specific by including their name. Additionally, a beautifully framed photo of the bride and/or groom with the deceased person you are honoring should be on display as well.

Or simply have a single chair. There can be familiar items attached or on the chair, perhaps a familiar jacket, a pipe, pair of glasses, a favorite book. You can also order personalized (or make one yourself) memorial plaques.

These items can also be arranged on a table or shelf, with candles. This display will likely make you very emotional on the day, but there is no avoiding it. How much or how little you want to do in regard to creating a tribute chair is your decision. You want to remember and honor your loved one but you also want your wedding to be joyful and not sorrowful. Check in with other relatives if you're unsure as to how much is too much.

Family Tree

Assemble an artificial family tree by placing a beautiful branch painted white or silver in a vase filled with pebbles, marbles, or other decorative stones, and hanging photo pendants of each family member from the branches.

Speech, have a few words - moment of silence

Some wedding couples will mention their loved ones in a toast, speech. They may have a moment of silence in their memory.

If you plan to give a speech at the reception, make sure to dedicate a portion of it to your deceased loved ones. Tell everyone how much you wish they could have been present for this special occasion, but you know they are looking down on you and your spouse with joy.

Share an unforgettable anecdote about marriage that your parents, grandparents or other deceased loved ones told you, an inside joke that they always cracked, or a special memory you have with them. You can also discuss how much you have been inspired by your parents' relationship and marriage.

A single white rose in bridal bouquet

This is a simple way to symbolise the acknowledgement of loved ones who have passed away.

Acknowledgement on wedding program

If you're having wedding programs you can include an ' in loving memory' paragraph to remember them.

Charitable contributions instead of gifts

Some wedding couples ask for a contribution to a named charity in memory of their loved one who has passed. They may do this in place of a wedding gift or as a discreet collection perhaps after the ceremony or as a collection box on the 'memorial table'.

Graveside Bouquet - after the wedding

If you happen to live close to where your loved one is buried, after the wedding day you may want to visit the grave site and lay your bridal bouquet or other wedding floral arrangement there and maybe include a wedding photo.

Wedding Photos

Some wedding couples have their loved ones who can't be with them on their special day edited into a couple of wedding photos, perhaps as an opaque overlay. This is a very personal choice and would require the services of a photo editing professional or someone you know who can do a sensitive job.

Memorial Candles

The presence of an engraved memorial candle on a table near the altar is becoming increasingly popular in weddings these days. The ceremony comes before the traditional lighting of the unity candle. The ceremony is typically brief but solemn and meaningful. The bride or groom mentions the deceased and how important their presence was at the wedding. The bride and groom then light the candle, and the officiant prays briefly for the deceased relative.

Given the significance of this ceremony in a wedding, selecting a candle should be done with great care. Here are some pointers to help you make that choice:

1. You have the option of using pillar candles in single candelabras or the traditional candelabra. The candle holder can be engraved with the name of a deceased relative as well as a brief memorial. Alternatively, floating candles in a clear glass vase can be used. The vase can be engraved with the deceased's name and a brief memorial statement.

2. Lighting ceremony. As an alternative to the lighting ceremony described above, some couples may choose to use the memorial candle as their unity candle to represent the blessings of their relatives on their union. Others may bring the memorial candle to the reception, where a short, happy memorial could be included in the reception program.

3. Theme and motif of the wedding. Memorial candles do not have to be plain white; they can be more colorful, stylish, and even fun. You can select colors to match your wedding theme and motif, as well as designs to reflect the deceased's personality. After all, weddings are a joyous occasion. The dead will not begrudge your happiness, and they would certainly appreciate being remembered fondly on such a joyous occasion.

Wedding memorial candles add to the solemnity and intimacy of a wedding ceremony, and they frequently provide the couple with a sense of oneness with their relatives. This modern twist on traditional wedding ceremonies and symbols brings families closer together in a joyful occasion where the dead will undoubtedly be smiling down on them.

Black Gold Script Typography Wedding Program