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Showing posts with label Author ClaireN. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Author ClaireN. Show all posts

Tuesday, 19 March 2019

Shotgun wedding before I took my husbands kidney

I secretly married my partner on the 24th June 2016. We were a perfect match!

My husband and I were in the process of him donating a kidney to me (I have PKD Polycystic Kidney Disease). Paul had to undergo all sorts of different tests, to determine if he was healthy enough to go through it all. Thankfully everything went well, we were almost a perfect match and we were going to have our operations in July.

I went to see the surgeon, but he said I needed to lose weight, at least two and a half stone. Even though we were disappointed the operation had been put back to November, we still went ahead with the wedding.

"Till death do us part"


My husband had this crazy idea that he was going to die during the operation, so he wanted us to make everything legal for the sake of our children. That monies would be safe and my mother in law Leanne wouldn't try to come in and take any money away from me and our children. The strange thing was, he almost did die due to being pumped full of Penicillin when he is allergic to it!

We need a shotgun ...


With everything that we were going through and my ill health through kidney failure, we didn't want this to become a huge stressful affair, as we were already stressed up to the eyeballs as it was. So we decided that we should only tell our children, parents and siblings what was happening. I knew that if I told one friend the news would spread like wildfire and I couldn't cope with all the potential stress that could come with it. Friends and family might be upset some had been invited and others not so we decided that if would be far simpler if we didn't invite anyone (beyond immediate family) that way, no one could be offended.

The mother-in-law wasn't invited but she came anyway!

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My mum came round the night before the 'shotgun' wedding and did my nails for me and I went to my friend's house at 7am on the day and she curled my hair for me, it looked stunning. We were married in a registry office and it was the first time I had seen my mother-in-law in 18 months, as we'd had a huge row about her saying "you're all like wolves, after my money!'' Leanne as I said earlier was a major reason for getting married, as she eat sleeps and breathes money and would throw us all under the bus for a chance at instant cash.

I wore a black and white dress which is a huge change for me, as I've lived in trousers/leggings for the past 20+years. Paul and our son wore suits and our daughter had a pretty little dress for the occasion and she was so excited about it all. Janine had desperately wanted us to marry for years and to have the same surname as us. I never changed my surname though, as I wanted to keep mine, my surname belongs to me, it's all I've ever known and I belong to no one.

The ceremony was very simple and quick, which suited us, we are not the type of people who like pomp and ceremony. Just having family there was more than enough.

All's well that ends well


We took photos outside on mobiles, so the quality wasn't that great, but I still love them. After that we all went for a meal at a restaurant and came home afterwards. After the busy day and stress of it all, I came home to sleep, as my body and mind were shattered. Almost two years have passed and believe it or not, I'm still talking to my mother in law!

If I was getting married again, I'd have a black and white wedding theme and maybe I might renew my vows one day and do it all 'proper'.

And for all those brave fellow PKD warriors out there!