There are no guarantees in life but this is as good as it gets for helping your guests remember to RSVP by the deadlineMagnetic save the dates and rsvp poems!
More often it's the case that your invitation has been safely stored in a drawer, perhaps with other wedding invitations (they might be very popular!) with the wedding date itself noted on a calendar BUT NOT THE RSVP deadline date.
No offence is intended, they just forgot. And when you start reminding them, they can't reply right away because they now realise they need to make sure they are free on that day and can get there, afford the expense and so on. Resulting in yet more delays to your much needed rsvp reply.
Not all guests realise how important that RSVP deadline is, thinking to themselves, if they can make it they will be there on the day. They assume if they've been invited, they will be catered for. It needs to be communicated to guests on your rsvp details, that numbers must be confirmed to the venue and caterers ahead of time. There are various way to do this which you can see via the example magnetic save the dates and rsvps featured.
Note that rsvp's don't guarantee attendance but as some guests inevitably bring uninvited +1's and children you should find it balances out.
Anecdote: I invited a work colleague and her plus1 to my wedding and she asked if her three children could also attend. I generously said yes, catered and paid for them all to attend only for my work colleague (without notice) to attend on her own. So that was 4 rsvps that did not attend, however I had some 'randoms' show up from grooms work that made up the numbers. So don't worry too much about the potential chaos of who's coming and not. Go with the flow on your big day.
HELP THEM REMEMBER
NO EXTRA COSTS
These magnetic save the dates and rsvp reminders are available in various sizes and because they're magnetic card, the cost is no more than a regular non-magnetic card invitation.
What to do if guests still don't RSVP in time
1. A week BEFORE your rsvp deadline (not on or after the deadline)
REMIND your guests the deadline is approaching. You can do this via a Facebook post, emails (guarantees they see it), texts, phonecalls.
If you wait until the deadline, they will not be able to reply immediately because chances are they haven't worked out whether they can get the time off work, arrange childcare, manage costs and so on. They will need 'more time'.
When reminding them you can let them know that due to venue size and catering, if guests haven't replied by the deadline, it will be assumed they're declining and can't attend, which is very sad as you really want them there! But needs must.
2. If NO RSVP on the deadline
You can let people know the wedding details , numbers have been finalised and how sad you are that those who didn't rsvp have opted not to attend. In other words assume they're not coming. You might get a flurry or responses and how you handle those is up to you!
Wording samples and RSVP poems to get you through this tricky situation
This is my own (copyright LeahG):
"To our invited wedding guests
The venue is chasing and caterers are getting red
wanting numbers and payment so they can go ahead
making arrangements for all those who want to attend
Please RSVP by our deadline date (add here)
There can be no allowances for those who reply late
It's out of our hands
Thank you in advance for your timely RSVP"
Here's a RSVP poem as posted on a forum:
"I understand things are busy and I hope that you don't mind,
Me sending this short poem to hopefully remind
Our wedding is fast approaching as I'm sure you are aware,
To make our day extra special we would love to you there
No presents are needed, just a smiling face,
If you could let us know please, as there is no time to waste
Drop us a text or email or pop something in the post,
It's the wedding of the year, with us as the host!"
Another wedding forum suggestion
" A little reminder so you don't forget
a night of celebration you wont regret
A mark of the card,you know what to do
will help us figure out which table's for you."
You need balls to send this one! forum
"I know you're not stupid
I know you're not dumb
So please don't you make me
Pull out my gun
The postage is paid
The address is written
Is there no time in your day
That you just might fit in
Ten seconds or so
To check yes or no
My request is not crazy
So don't be so damn lazy"
I've seen other suggestions that if people's don't send back their wedding RSVP they should bring their own chair and a sandwich.
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